I had a great week. 3 swims totaling 5400m. 3 runs of 28k including a 16k run yesterday. I also had an hard cycling session.

I’m feeling good in my body. Yesterday I felt the kind of tiredness in my feet that you get after a good long workout. Today I’m feeling the soreness, not debilitating, but just enough to feel it. I also lost weight and wasn’t hungry. Was exceptionally productive at work.

The end result of all of that? I feel like I haven’t done enough. All I keep thinking of is the diminishing size of my arms and chest since I’m not lifting anymore. If I’m not completely nuked, I don’t feel like it’s enough. I feel like I’m cheating myself and not doing my best.

last couple of months have taught me that this is false. I’m probably not at my limit but I’m certainly not far for someone that is prioritizing injury and illness prevention. And yet the work volume isn’t particularly satisfying.

The lesson is that for the beginner, the sense of what’s enough and what isn’t enough is unreliable. It either tips in favor of complacency and laziness or overdoing and self-cruelty which is my case. This needs to change. It’s changing.