On holding back
On holding back
Pushing harder, consistency, and accepting the suck
Pushing harder, consistency, and accepting the suck
Jul 15, 2024
“I don’t like how weak I am on the bike. Therefor I must push harder on my next session.”
That’s how I used to think when I started this journey. The first step was learning that this is wrong. The next step, which is much more important, was to build a habit of not doing it, to build a counter voice in my head that is even louder. I am there already.
“I’m very weak on the bike. Therefor, I must not not overdo it so that I can miss no session”
Consistency is what’s going to bring the results. Everyone knows it. And yet when I see my 200 watt ftp, I’m filled with a desperate rage that causes me to crush the next session with the kind of unsustainable intensity that leads to burnout that keeps me at the same level.
No more.
Going all out is for race day. Even then, I must hold back for most of the race and only empty the tank when I know for sure that I’ll make it. This is not a new piece of information. There’s nothing new about this. This is all about building that inner voice of wisdom and training it to overpower the innate, foolish inner voice of intensity and exaggeration.
If I feel almost dead → that’s too much.
If I feel reasonably uncomfortable → that’s about right.
The key is following the plan. If the plan said go all out, then I go all out. But any good plan will probably not have much of that anyway. There will be a calibration period when I have to test different intensities, but under-doing is better than overdoing. Holding back is a skill just like going all out is a skill. They both require practice. In my nature, I don’t need to practice going all out too much because I’m simply wired to default to that. I do require a lot of training for my ability to hold back. It doesn’t come naturally to me. It sucks.
“I don’t like how weak I am on the bike. Therefor I must push harder on my next session.”
That’s how I used to think when I started this journey. The first step was learning that this is wrong. The next step, which is much more important, was to build a habit of not doing it, to build a counter voice in my head that is even louder. I am there already.
“I’m very weak on the bike. Therefor, I must not not overdo it so that I can miss no session”
Consistency is what’s going to bring the results. Everyone knows it. And yet when I see my 200 watt ftp, I’m filled with a desperate rage that causes me to crush the next session with the kind of unsustainable intensity that leads to burnout that keeps me at the same level.
No more.
Going all out is for race day. Even then, I must hold back for most of the race and only empty the tank when I know for sure that I’ll make it. This is not a new piece of information. There’s nothing new about this. This is all about building that inner voice of wisdom and training it to overpower the innate, foolish inner voice of intensity and exaggeration.
If I feel almost dead → that’s too much.
If I feel reasonably uncomfortable → that’s about right.
The key is following the plan. If the plan said go all out, then I go all out. But any good plan will probably not have much of that anyway. There will be a calibration period when I have to test different intensities, but under-doing is better than overdoing. Holding back is a skill just like going all out is a skill. They both require practice. In my nature, I don’t need to practice going all out too much because I’m simply wired to default to that. I do require a lot of training for my ability to hold back. It doesn’t come naturally to me. It sucks.
