On racing
On racing
A the same strange calm, sharp focus, and a different man
A the same strange calm, sharp focus, and a different man
Oct 18, 2024
Race night
Nervous? Not really. Kinda, but not really.
Feeling strong? Not really.
Confident? Somewhat
Worried? No
Scared? No.. I guess a little bit may
I have to admit. Seeing the buoys shook me a little. Those fuckers are so far you almost can’t see the last one. It doesn’t help that I never swam this distance and that I never did a race before. But it helps that I did a few open water swims with very comforting paces.
As a training week, this one was bad. But as a week in my life, I think I prevailed. I did a run on monday and I my heart rate was 10bpm higher. That’s scary. But I kept my composure because I knew that the fitness I built can’t go away that easily. I knew I was sick so I decided to play it safe and prioritize recovery.
I’m not trying to make excuses but I literally was sick all week. Not very sick, but definitely sick. Heat and cold waves as usual. Sweating, dehydration, weakness. I knew I was sick, but I also knew that this is the 10th time now so I will be good enough to start on Saturday if all I did was recover. It was hard saying no to all the sessions I cancelled. But I did.
This man learned.
I went for a swim on Tuesday which is the only outdoor (of my house) session I allowed. I did it to compensate for a big open water session that I needed. I figured, I’m not gonna risk getting sicker because of a big effort outdoors, but I’ll still do a little session indoor just to get a feel. My arms never felt as heavy. I was stressed out of my mind. Swimming 400 was like swimming 800. I looked at my watch, I was swimming at 2:15. I never swam this fast in the pool. Usually, my best is 2:18 in my first 400. I just did 2:15 trying to slow down and keep calm. In that moment I knew it’s all in my head.
I needed that swim so much. I’m gonna cling to it so tight tomorrow in the ocean. I hope not, but odds are that arms are gonna be like jelly. I will have no energy, no power, and I will panic. My stomach is gonna be off and I will forget how to swim. But I will remind myself that all I need to do is keep swimming for half an hour. Maybe even enjoy the race. Look at a fellow athlete, just swim. I know the nerves will calm down, I know the pace is going to be enough. 2:20 is good. 2:30 is what I expect. 2:40 is okay. Even 3min is fine. it leaves me 25 minutes to spare. that’s plenty.
Tomorrow, the swim is going to be about relaxing. allowing the body to do what it needs to do. If it wants to panic, we’ll panic. Stomach not playing ball? Let it. It’s all fake anyway. I felt perfectly fine 10 minutes ago, now that I’m writing this, I feel my stomach turning like It never did before, maybe ever. It’s fine, everyone has this. And then they swim it away and get in the groove. If it takes an hour to get there, then let it. If we’re not there until we’re out of the water, then so be it. We’ll get in the groove on the bike. But for now, we’re just gonna swim, man. We’re just gonna swim.
Race night
Nervous? Not really. Kinda, but not really.
Feeling strong? Not really.
Confident? Somewhat
Worried? No
Scared? No.. I guess a little bit may
I have to admit. Seeing the buoys shook me a little. Those fuckers are so far you almost can’t see the last one. It doesn’t help that I never swam this distance and that I never did a race before. But it helps that I did a few open water swims with very comforting paces.
As a training week, this one was bad. But as a week in my life, I think I prevailed. I did a run on monday and I my heart rate was 10bpm higher. That’s scary. But I kept my composure because I knew that the fitness I built can’t go away that easily. I knew I was sick so I decided to play it safe and prioritize recovery.
I’m not trying to make excuses but I literally was sick all week. Not very sick, but definitely sick. Heat and cold waves as usual. Sweating, dehydration, weakness. I knew I was sick, but I also knew that this is the 10th time now so I will be good enough to start on Saturday if all I did was recover. It was hard saying no to all the sessions I cancelled. But I did.
This man learned.
I went for a swim on Tuesday which is the only outdoor (of my house) session I allowed. I did it to compensate for a big open water session that I needed. I figured, I’m not gonna risk getting sicker because of a big effort outdoors, but I’ll still do a little session indoor just to get a feel. My arms never felt as heavy. I was stressed out of my mind. Swimming 400 was like swimming 800. I looked at my watch, I was swimming at 2:15. I never swam this fast in the pool. Usually, my best is 2:18 in my first 400. I just did 2:15 trying to slow down and keep calm. In that moment I knew it’s all in my head.
I needed that swim so much. I’m gonna cling to it so tight tomorrow in the ocean. I hope not, but odds are that arms are gonna be like jelly. I will have no energy, no power, and I will panic. My stomach is gonna be off and I will forget how to swim. But I will remind myself that all I need to do is keep swimming for half an hour. Maybe even enjoy the race. Look at a fellow athlete, just swim. I know the nerves will calm down, I know the pace is going to be enough. 2:20 is good. 2:30 is what I expect. 2:40 is okay. Even 3min is fine. it leaves me 25 minutes to spare. that’s plenty.
Tomorrow, the swim is going to be about relaxing. allowing the body to do what it needs to do. If it wants to panic, we’ll panic. Stomach not playing ball? Let it. It’s all fake anyway. I felt perfectly fine 10 minutes ago, now that I’m writing this, I feel my stomach turning like It never did before, maybe ever. It’s fine, everyone has this. And then they swim it away and get in the groove. If it takes an hour to get there, then let it. If we’re not there until we’re out of the water, then so be it. We’ll get in the groove on the bike. But for now, we’re just gonna swim, man. We’re just gonna swim.
