On growth
On growth
Habits, proof, and how far we’ve come
Habits, proof, and how far we’ve come
Aug 8, 2024
I’m sick again
The usual. Get hot and sweaty, then cold, then hot again. Sore throat, low energy, headache… the whole thing.
It’s very mild this time. I hope it goes away soon.
this comes at the heels of moving to Lisbon. I already lost 3 days of training for that, and now losing probably 3 more for this. It’s very upsetting.
But it’s not as upsetting as it was the last few times I got sick during this training year. It should be more because I no longer have any room for error. But I’m handling it better.
Yesterday, I could have gotten on the bike and squeezed in another session. I could totally go to the pool today. I could probably cycle today. But I won’t.
These days I’m more about to manage these setbacks. I don’t panic as easily. I can dampen these shocks enough to make good decisions. I can identify two factors that go into that:
I’ve grown as a person. I now understand the value of the bigger picture and can summon that image at moments of despair. I can remind myself that a even though I don’t have a week to spare, this can be recovered. Not just that, I can remind myself that this time off might have been good for me. Maybe my legs needed the rest. Maybe I was going to ruin myself if I trained this week. there’s so much I don’t know so I don’t get stuck here.
The psychological factor is certainly important. But I reckon that most of the difference just comes from thoughtful experience. I spend a year paying attention the very idea of the long-term mission and how it ebbs and flows. I don’t just have a theoretical understanding of it. I have several instances in recent memory where I’ve seen the effect of setbacks. Stacking evidence breeds a more balanced disposition.
I have no illusions of competence on this front. Most of the difference undoubtedly comes from a growing confidence based on objective tests. Had I not tested myself, I would probably be a far worse state. But I like to believe that progress was made on my own psyche, independent of the circumstances. I think it’s true but I need to acknowledge that I need it to be true. Otherwise, this has all been for nothing.
I’m sick again
The usual. Get hot and sweaty, then cold, then hot again. Sore throat, low energy, headache… the whole thing.
It’s very mild this time. I hope it goes away soon.
this comes at the heels of moving to Lisbon. I already lost 3 days of training for that, and now losing probably 3 more for this. It’s very upsetting.
But it’s not as upsetting as it was the last few times I got sick during this training year. It should be more because I no longer have any room for error. But I’m handling it better.
Yesterday, I could have gotten on the bike and squeezed in another session. I could totally go to the pool today. I could probably cycle today. But I won’t.
These days I’m more about to manage these setbacks. I don’t panic as easily. I can dampen these shocks enough to make good decisions. I can identify two factors that go into that:
I’ve grown as a person. I now understand the value of the bigger picture and can summon that image at moments of despair. I can remind myself that a even though I don’t have a week to spare, this can be recovered. Not just that, I can remind myself that this time off might have been good for me. Maybe my legs needed the rest. Maybe I was going to ruin myself if I trained this week. there’s so much I don’t know so I don’t get stuck here.
The psychological factor is certainly important. But I reckon that most of the difference just comes from thoughtful experience. I spend a year paying attention the very idea of the long-term mission and how it ebbs and flows. I don’t just have a theoretical understanding of it. I have several instances in recent memory where I’ve seen the effect of setbacks. Stacking evidence breeds a more balanced disposition.
I have no illusions of competence on this front. Most of the difference undoubtedly comes from a growing confidence based on objective tests. Had I not tested myself, I would probably be a far worse state. But I like to believe that progress was made on my own psyche, independent of the circumstances. I think it’s true but I need to acknowledge that I need it to be true. Otherwise, this has all been for nothing.
