I’m still sick.

Sometimes, like right now, I feel very good. I wanna go out and smash a 3-4h ride tomorrow and keep my TSS up because the recent declines are depressing me.

Sometimes I feel sick still, sweating for no reason, weak legs. I say to myself, I need to stay home and recover. No need going for a workout an risking to extend my recovery period.

This is clear evidence that none of my decisions come from principle. I have little principle. It’s mostly circumstance. If I’m in the right setting, I do the right thing. If I’m not, I make dumb decisions.

A better me would never risk extending recovery just to save a score. Yes, I don’t have a spare week for recovery. But I sure as hell don’t have two. Hedging for the deep dark pit of the downside is much more important that the slight upside. It’s clear in my mind. I just wish my decisions fell in line.

3 minutes after starting to write this, I’m heating up again. starting to sweat again. The idea of cycling tomorrow is starting to sound dumb again. They key is to not let the decisions be affected by this, either way.