On the source of motivation
On the source of motivation
Expectations, reality, and the calibration of bodily signals
Expectations, reality, and the calibration of bodily signals
Jul 20, 2024
Last month was hard. Long ride Saturday followed by a long run Sunday. The rides were totally cool but the runs weren’t. I started to dread them.
Some of the difficulty of running this month has been from the heat. Never in my adult life have I drenched a shirt in sweat, not even when I played basketball in hot and humid Ubud.
But another reason that contributed to the difficulty is the biking the day prior. Seems obvious after today, but believe it or not, I didn’t think it had that much of an impact. I was completely oblivious to it
The topic of this rant is about that obliviousness. I think it contributes greatly to the sudden erosion of motivation that we experience in various pursuits in life.
Running Sundays after a long day on the bike on Saturday always felt sluggish. It was just too slow. So why didn’t I immediately learn that it was the bike that caused this? I think it has to do with the fact that I expected the effects of the bike to feel different.
During these runs, the legs felt almost pristine. I didn’t feel tired going into them. There was no pain, no soreness. Joints felt normal and I could breath alright. I nap after bike day and I sleep about 6 hours that night. In my mind, all systems are ready.
Today I did it different. I ran Saturday and I kept the bike for tomorrow. I ran 20 seconds faster per kilometer than last week in a run that was 5km longer and my longest run ever. Let that sink in. That’s huge by anybody’s standard. The weather was a bit cooler in the beginning, sure. I hydrated and fueled better, sure. But the only real difference was the fact that I haven’t had a bike the day before. In fact, it was a rest day.
This opened my eye to the fact that the subjective feeling of my condition is evn less reliable than I though. So I go into these runs feeling good and I’m disappointed by the result. The disappointment doesn’t come from the results, but from the mismatch with the expectation that is based on the faulty assessment at the start.
Couple this with the feeling of dread I’ve been having about the run all week this week and a bit last week and I can see a major way in which the motivation wanes
Do something poorly, at least in contrast to one’s expectation, and you don’t evaluate it, decide you’re not good enough and that you don’t want to do this anymore. that would be reasonable but it’s not what happens.
I think what happens is that I start finding that dread in myself. I’m slow to start, I’m reluctant. I wonder why I’m procrastinating. But the reason is clear. The last few times I did the thing didn’t go well according to some random expectation.
Motivation seems to be guided by previous experience which seems to be ruled by the contrast with preset expectations. Could it be that the way to stickier decisions starts with lowering expectations?
Last month was hard. Long ride Saturday followed by a long run Sunday. The rides were totally cool but the runs weren’t. I started to dread them.
Some of the difficulty of running this month has been from the heat. Never in my adult life have I drenched a shirt in sweat, not even when I played basketball in hot and humid Ubud.
But another reason that contributed to the difficulty is the biking the day prior. Seems obvious after today, but believe it or not, I didn’t think it had that much of an impact. I was completely oblivious to it
The topic of this rant is about that obliviousness. I think it contributes greatly to the sudden erosion of motivation that we experience in various pursuits in life.
Running Sundays after a long day on the bike on Saturday always felt sluggish. It was just too slow. So why didn’t I immediately learn that it was the bike that caused this? I think it has to do with the fact that I expected the effects of the bike to feel different.
During these runs, the legs felt almost pristine. I didn’t feel tired going into them. There was no pain, no soreness. Joints felt normal and I could breath alright. I nap after bike day and I sleep about 6 hours that night. In my mind, all systems are ready.
Today I did it different. I ran Saturday and I kept the bike for tomorrow. I ran 20 seconds faster per kilometer than last week in a run that was 5km longer and my longest run ever. Let that sink in. That’s huge by anybody’s standard. The weather was a bit cooler in the beginning, sure. I hydrated and fueled better, sure. But the only real difference was the fact that I haven’t had a bike the day before. In fact, it was a rest day.
This opened my eye to the fact that the subjective feeling of my condition is evn less reliable than I though. So I go into these runs feeling good and I’m disappointed by the result. The disappointment doesn’t come from the results, but from the mismatch with the expectation that is based on the faulty assessment at the start.
Couple this with the feeling of dread I’ve been having about the run all week this week and a bit last week and I can see a major way in which the motivation wanes
Do something poorly, at least in contrast to one’s expectation, and you don’t evaluate it, decide you’re not good enough and that you don’t want to do this anymore. that would be reasonable but it’s not what happens.
I think what happens is that I start finding that dread in myself. I’m slow to start, I’m reluctant. I wonder why I’m procrastinating. But the reason is clear. The last few times I did the thing didn’t go well according to some random expectation.
Motivation seems to be guided by previous experience which seems to be ruled by the contrast with preset expectations. Could it be that the way to stickier decisions starts with lowering expectations?
